Suddenly I’m shivering!

I realized this afternoon, that I was incredibly tired.  This is not an uncommon side effect of my infusion, so I thought nothing if it and just kept on keeping on.  Then like a light, I was out, sitting up in a chair.  I fell asleep – like in a narcoleptic 3 seconds!  When I woke up, I knew I was sick. I felt pain in every joint and muscle of my body, even my hair hurt! I felt freezing cold, was shivering, my throat was sore, and my eyes were burning. It was so sudden. Everything at once.

So now I’m wondering if I have the flu! Argh!!!! I’m miserable. Good thing I made chicken soup two days ago.  It’s hopefully going to help ease this crud.  If I am much worse tomorrow I will need to make a call to my doctor since I got my infusion yesterday and it can have immunosuppressant effects. Ugh!

Too tired to post… but I will anyway

Had my 23rd infusion today. Next month I will “celebrate” my two year Tysabri anniversary. I never wanted to go on this drug but it has saved my quality of life and to a big extent, my life as a whole. So for that I am extremely thankful. I am so happy that I can be a good mother to my wonderful boys, wife to my amazing husband, and daughter to my truly devoted parents.

Wish I could say more but my fatigue plus the side-effect of Tysabri “sleepiness” is lulling me to bed… Love you all!

Time to get crackin’

*CRUNCH*

That is the sound my brain has been making these past few months (heck, maybe the last year even!)

I need a clean slate. I need to get myself together. I need to focus on myself. I want to eat better, exercise more, sleep longer, get to bed at a decent hour (hence the “sleep longer” reference), and crush this disease i have (oh yeah, that would be MS). I want to be a better everything (wife, mother, daughter, friend). It’s a lot when I think about it, but I need to get some much needed structure in my chaotic life. But to be a better anything to others, I have to be a better someone to myself.

I need, I need, I need…

My OCD kicks into full gear when I hear those words. My anxiety starts creeping up, and I wonder if I need to take some deep breaths or if I just need to dive into my personal pharmacy and take that lovely at anxiety pill.

*CRUNCH*

There goes my brain again. And so begins my journey. It’s not New Year’s, so no resolutions necessary. I just need to write and get it out in words. Only then, I might be able to pick apart my needs and wants in order to organize my private chaos.