*CRUNCH*

That is the sound my brain has been making these past few months (heck, maybe the last year even!)

I need a clean slate. I need to get myself together. I need to focus on myself. I want to eat better, exercise more, sleep longer, get to bed at a decent hour (hence the “sleep longer” reference), and crush this disease i have (oh yeah, that would be MS). I want to be a better everything (wife, mother, daughter, friend). It’s a lot when I think about it, but I need to get some much needed structure in my chaotic life. But to be a better anything to others, I have to be a better someone to myself.

I need, I need, I need…

My OCD kicks into full gear when I hear those words. My anxiety starts creeping up, and I wonder if I need to take some deep breaths or if I just need to dive into my personal pharmacy and take that lovely at anxiety pill.

*CRUNCH*

There goes my brain again. And so begins my journey. It’s not New Year’s, so no resolutions necessary. I just need to write and get it out in words. Only then, I might be able to pick apart my needs and wants in order to organize my private chaos.