As I wrote yesterday, stress has consumed my life so much in the past two days that today I am paying for it badly.
My eyesight has suffered horribly for it. I am seeing blurry and patchy and my right eye is really bad. At least my laptop has a cool thing on it where I can enlarge all the fonts on these pages with one click of my touch pad.
I had to own up to my eye issues and call my neurologist who immediately gave me my verdict of…
5 days of IV steroids
This has put a little huge dent in my plans this weekend. My youngest’s party which was supposed to be going on this Saturday afternoon, but is currently postponed until April. I just physically cannot make this party work in two days especially if I can’t see well and am on heavy steroids. Plus I don’t want to have a nurse come out to the house and infuse me in the middle of my son’s birthday party.
I am so ready to be feeling normal and stable. Stable is a word that means the world to me right now. Let’s hope 5 days of IV steroids will work their magic on me.
I AM that oxymoron: the chronically fatigued insomniac.
One thing, which I know would probably make me healthier and feel better, would be for me to go to bed at a decent hour. Not to mention I have heard rumors that a solid 8-9 hours of sleep helps prevent you from aging. Being as that I am hitting the half way mark between 30 and 40 in January, and I am beginning to see gravity and life slowly affect my outward appearance. Also, my inner soul is starting to tire.
I have always been a night-owl, but my youth and graduate studies tended to keep me from needing more than 4-6 hours of sleep a night. I did fine with nights of no or little sleep before the age of 25, and then it rolled over to having two boys in a span of 20 months, which precipitated the “lack of sleep” issue. Again, I did ok with that.
And now, I have two darling boys that go to bed without complaints at 8pm, no questions asked. I truly am lucky and blessed that they welcome bedtime as easily as they do. I wonder if when this perfection will end.
I, however, stay up for hours after they’ve gone to bed. Sometimes I am doing useful things, like getting clothes ready for the next day of school, making lunches, loading the dishwasher, and folding a load of laundry. Often though I get sucked into my DVR that I only watch at night because my boys, including my husband, are soundly asleep in bed and they really have no interest in watching Project Runway or Top Chef.
My question is if anyone out there sets a curfew for themselves?
I am usually asleep by 1am. Everyday when I wake up exhausted from lack of sleep, I tell myself that I will go to bed earlier today, and I never do. The few times I have tried, I have failed miserably. I lay in bed wide awake with my mind racing a million miles a minute. I am on a first name basis with Melatonin and Ambien right now.
MS is a funny (as in perplexing) disease. It’s as though I cannot fall asleep at night, then I wake up exhausted in the morning, trudge through the day like a zombie, have to sit down every few minutes because my body fatigues so easily, then cannot fall asleep to take a nap when given the opportunity, and am so fatigued until the cycle repeats itself.
